Maintaining Personal Health And Wellbeing

Pastoral care ministries can be very demanding – physically, emotionally and spiritually. The weight of human need constantly bears down on us, and there is nearly always more that we feel could or should be done to alleviate that need.

There is a lot of anecdotal evidence to suggest that low morale, fatigue and burnout are all too frequent experiences for people in key ministry and pastoral positions. There are many contributing factors. Some are internal; some are external.

Internal factors can include:

i. Personality type: People who are competitive, driven, ambitious, task and achievement-oriented and recognition-dependent can also have fragile temperaments and can be less able to cope with criticism, stress and failure.

ii. Lack of self-care: This can include poor hygiene and diet and a lack of exercise, not having any interests and friendships outside of work, not spending sufficient time with spouse and family, not building some form of Sabbath rest into weekly routines, and not being able to relax without feeling guilty.

iii. Personal insecurities: Beneath the outgoing and cheerful demeanour of a leader can be a wounded soul plagued by lack of confidence, loneliness and unresolved feelings of hurt and anger (sometimes associated with past relationships, including one’s parents).

iv. Spiritual barrenness: Behind the public persona of some religious leaders there can be a spiritual emptiness and a private life riddled with contradictions and inconsistencies. There is no shortage of Christian leaders being exposed in the courts and through the media as having feet of clay.

v. Vocational crisis: For some ministers and leaders this takes the form of uncertainty and confusion about their role and calling in the midst of rapid societal and organisational change and institutional decline. A real but generally unspoken expectation that they will be agents of church growth rather than ministers of the Gospel can be a heavy burden to bear. For others it takes the form of disillusionment with the church as an institution that is too often rocked by scandal, internally divided, and can often be a bad (and even exploitative) employer.

vi. Life transitions: Movements from one stage of life to another can be unexpectedly stressful. We often focus on the so-called “mid-life crisis” but other transition times can be equally challenging. During such transitions we may have to cope with physical and emotional changes, as well as changes to some of our closest relationships (including with parents, spouses and offspring). These changes can trigger spiritual crises, wherein forms of spirituality and patterns of piety which served us well in younger days no longer sustain and nourish us.

 

External factors can include:

i. A stressful or negative work environment, including ill-defined or unrealistic expectations, an unacceptably high workload, and a lack of training, support and collegiality.

ii. A lack of job security. As many churches continue to decline, their annual budgets come under increasing pressure, and the funding for many paid ministry and leadership positions is under threat. In some cases, full-time positions are reduced to part-time positions, but with no corresponding reduction in expectations around workload and results.

iii. Stress-inducing events and circumstances, including the breakdown of relationships, the death of a loved one, financial problems, sudden and dramatic lifestyle change, significant health problems, sexual dysfunction or frustration, and social isolation.

iv. A prevailing (western) culture and global economic system that makes living an authentic Christian life incredibly difficult. Leaders often feel more acutely than others the tension between cultural conformity and the radical call to discipleship because of the expectation that they will successfully model the life of discipleship.

Of course, not all stress is bad. Good stress, properly channelled, releases adrenaline and can motivate and enable us to reach optimum levels of performance. But unrelieved and compounded stress can lead to depression, with accompanying physical symptoms. It is tempting, under such circumstances, to relieve this sort of stress through the use of chemicals, whether in the form of tranquillisers, pain relievers or alcohol. However, while these might mask the symptoms in the short-term, they usually prevent us making the necessary changes to deal with the stress properly.

A significant step on the path to wellness is to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy forms and levels of stress, and to find appropriate ways of addressing the latter. Rigorous self-assessment, prayer, regular supervision, a doctor’s visit, and in some cases specialised counselling, can each play a part in this regard. Other positive steps one can take to understand, manage and ease stress can include the following:

i. Drawing sustenance from your relationship with Christ. At the beginning of this handbook we talked about the importance of abiding in Christ – personally and in communion with others. The more you have developed a spiritually balanced life and nurtured your relationship with Christ the better placed you will be to cope with stress and difficulty.

ii. Listening to your body. While such things as constant headaches, chest pains, sleeplessness, irritability, uncharacteristic outbursts of anger, skin rashes and bowel problems can be symptomatic of all sorts of ailments, including organic disease, they can also be symptoms of stress. They can be likened to messages that our body is trying to send us. We need to learn to ask not only “What is wrong with me?” but also “Why do I have this symptom at this time? What is my body telling me?”

iii. Undergoing a personality assessment like Myers Briggs or Enneagram can help you understand more about your personality type and the impact it has on the ways you think, act and react. Armed with this information, you are better placed to develop a leadership style that suits your personality and develop stronger coping mechanisms. Understanding different personality types can also help you work out what makes other people tick and how to work constructively with colleagues who are of different personality types to your own.

iv. Finding strength and solace in the scriptures. Psalms of lament, for example, not only give voice to the despair, loneliness and hurt that many leaders feel from time to time; they also serve as a vehicle for processing these raw emotions and reminding the stressed leader of God’s prior faithfulness and steadfast love. They give us words to pray when our own words fail us. Then in the stories of Saul and David and the like, we read of flawed characters who, like leaders of every generation, are often burdened by failure and plagued by doubt, yet whose lives have been claimed by God for a purpose and become powerful witnesses to God’s grace and power. These sorts of stories become for us sources of encouragement and hope.

v. Doing an inventory of your strengths, gifts and competencies and comparing these with the requirements of your ministry/leadership position or job. Do they constitute a good match? How significant are the differences? Can they be addressed through normal processes of

personal and professional development or are they indicative of a fundamental mismatch? With the right support and encouragement can you grow into your role, or are you like a square peg in a round hole? Should you be thinking about a growth or an exit strategy?

vi. Implementing a proper regime of self-care, including healthy eating patterns, regular exercise, plenty of sleep, spiritual disciplines, Sabbath rest, and taking up a sport, craft, hobby or community involvement can dramatically improve your mental, spiritual and physical wellbeing.

vii. Identifying root causes of workplace stress (not just reacting to surface symptoms), keeping things in perspective, handing things over to God in prayer, learning how to manage conflict, following the right process(es) for raising concerns, and addressing issues without personalising them (or demonising particular persons).

viii. Confiding in someone. Professional supervision can prove very helpful and should be a given for anyone in a significant ministry or leadership position. It can also be helpful to talk things through with a close friend or confidante. But be careful who you choose. Do not choose someone who may have a conflict of interest or who may not be particularly good at keeping confidences. Search your own heart. Always be mindful of the Apostle James’ warning about the immense damage that can be caused by a loose or bitter tongue (James 3:1-12). Do not use the need to confide as a means of winning people over to your point of view.

There are lots of excellent resources on the above and related issues. Lynne Baab has written some really helpful books, including the following:

Beating Burnout in Congregations (Alban Institute, 2003) looks at causes of burnout among congregational volunteers, with ideas for prevention and healing.

Personality Type in Congregations (Alban Institute, 1998) gives an overview of ways the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator can be used in congregations.

Fasting (IVP, 2006) is a practical book with stories of people who fast both from food and from other things, such as media, shopping, and technology.

Sabbath Keeping(IVP, 2005) is an introduction to ways to keep the Sabbath with stories from many people who observe the Sabbath.

Sabbath: The Gift of Rest (IVP, 2007) explores eight biblical passages with their theological and practical themes that undergird the practice of Sabbath keeping. The studies in this guide cover what Sabbath is and how to practice it. The guide may be used for individual or group study.

A Renewed Spirituality(IVP, 2002) discusses patterns of midlife spirituality, along with six spiritual paths that people at midlife find helpful. 

Books and articles by well known American author, Eugene Peterson, are always worth reading. On the subject of retaining one’s vocational integrity in the midst of hostile cultural forces and institutional pressures, the following book is highly recommended: Working the Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity (Eerdmans, 1987).

Have you ever suffered personally from ministry-related stress, poor health and a lack of wellbeing? What were the symptoms? How did you deal with it? What have you learned?