Ministry to the Elderly
The problems associated with growing old are well known: loss of independence; frailty of mind and body; reduced mobility; downsizing of accommodation; death of friends and loved ones; loneliness; financial vulnerability; coming to terms with one’s own mortality; and so on. A good deal of pastoral care will be about helping folk come to terms with some or all of these realities and to make necessary adjustments to their living situations.
However, pastoral care to the elderly need not be cast solely
in terms of problem-solving. From a biblical perspective, old age is not so
much a matter of coping as best one can with all the problems associated living
in one’s “twilight years”, but rather a matter of remaining faithful to God and
being called to even greater acts of faithfulness and obedience. Abraham and
Sarah are a case in point (Genesis 15 – 21), as are Anna and Simeon (Luke
2:21-38). From a faith perspective, we are compelled to think of our humanity
not simply in terms of a product of biological processes (a kind of biological
determinism), but rather in terms of who we are becoming in Christ. When
perceived through eyes of faith, the future is open, not closed.
What does this mean in practice?
When we regard the future as being open rather than closed,
then we have a basis for challenging the view that death is the final (tragic)
word of human existence. The resurrection of Christ from the dead is our
assurance that we no longer need fear death. For how does the Apostle Paul put
it? “Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”[1]
If we are able to affirm that death has been overcome by the
raising of Christ from the dead, then we are able to hold on to the biblical
assurance that sin too has been overcome, and that in and through Christ we
have indeed been forgiven. This can be a vitally important truth to inhabit at
a time in our lives when griefs, regrets and sins which we thought had long
receded into the mists of time, can return to haunt us. Seen in this context,
old age can be a time when we not only recall the past with a sense of
nostalgia, but when we also deal with all our unresolved stuff. It can be what
some people describe as a journey towards integration, wholeness and even
reconciliation. Good pastoral care will encourage and enable this journey to be
taken.
A key part of this journey towards integration might involve
revisiting certain events and periods in our lives and allowing the light of
the Gospel to shine upon them. What does that light reveal? What fresh insights
does it generate for us? What opportunities for healing does it provide? I
recall in a parish in which I served, a returned serviceman wanting to talk
with me about an incident that had occurred during his time of military
service, and which many years later continued to weigh heavily on his conscience.
More than anything else, he needed to hear afresh the assurance of pardon that
only the Gospel can give. I still recall seeing his tears of joy as he came to
the realisation that he truly was forgiven, and that the burden of guilt which
he had been carrying all those years had finally been lifted from his
shoulders.
We are very much aware these days of the power of
storytelling. Storytelling is not just a matter of taking a trip down memory
lane; it’s a potential means of interpreting our history, addressing our past
and deriving meaning and significance from our lives. Storytelling can perform
a therapeutic function. From a pastoral perspective, there is often scope to
encourage our elders to “tell their story”, and if we’re particularly attentive
to what they say, we might even help them make deeper connections between their
own life-story and that larger, open-ended, life-giving story which we call the
Gospel.
I mentioned above the example of the returned serviceman
dealing with the burden of guilt that emanated from a particular period of his
life. In another pastoral situation, I was privileged to hear a man reflect on
certain aspects of his life. He was the typical self-made man who took great
pride in his success, achievements and self-sufficiency, but now in his final
days so much of what he had built up over many years had been whittled away. He
had lost much of his savings in the share market crash of 1987, his wife had
died some years ago, and his family were scattered far and wide, offering no
practical support at a time when, due to deteriorating health, he had become
entirely dependent on the semi-hospital level of care provided by a local rest
home. When I saw him, he was trying to make sense of it all. Interestingly, he
had started to read his Bible again, and it just so happened that the day
before I visited him he had read the parable of the rich fool in Luke 12:13-21.
What was a most difficult passage, because it’s one where Jesus pulls no
punches, became for this man a catalyst for looking at his life differently and
putting things in perspective. Rather than lament what he had lost, he chose to
focus on what it meant to be “rich toward God”. Not only did this include a
renewed appreciation for prayer and worship; it also included a realisation
that although he was denied the close proximity of his natural family, through
baptism he was part of a non-biological family, a community of faith, a communion
of saints. The pastoral care extended to him by this family was deeply
affirming.
One final story. I recall hearing one of the “saints” of our
church reflect on her experience of growing old. She said that despite all the
problems associated with old age, she had discovered the priority of being over
doing. Rather than decry the fact that she could no longer support all the
church and community activities that she once had, she had learned to “rest in
God”, to contemplate the mystery of the Gospel, to uphold people in prayer, and
to see that life-as-gift precedes life-as-task. She became one of our church’s
great encouragers and intercessors. Many of our youth and young adults were
drawn to her, not because she was part of their social world, but because they
sensed in her something that was authentic, grace-filled and wise.
What stories of your own can you tell about ministry to the
elderly, and what lessons would you draw from them?
[1] 1 Corinthians 15:54-55
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