Why did God Create Sex?
Why did God create sex? Was it only for procreation or did God have other purposes for sex? Does God speak of his specific purposes for sex in the Bible?
We all have the tendency
to shrug off societal shackles. Surprising, sex and the associated pleasure are
still considered to be taboo in our society. Journalist Jaye Johnson argues in
her 2016 TED Talk that, 'we need to shift the way we think about it'. More so,
in theological and biblical aspects, we need to tune into the way our Bible
teaches us and communicate it clearly the 'why' aspects and deal with the right
lens and landed in the 'when' arena with the designer (Creator) point of view.
This is one of the central focus of Christian Ethics, digging out the purpose
of God's creation and its ethos is the need of the hour.
There is no single
passage of Scripture where God says “I created sex for these purposes…”.
God created man in his image to show his attributes and display his glory. God
created woman as a helper for man (Genesis 2 & I Corinthians 11). God tells
us why he created marriage in Ephesians 5, as a symbol of the relationship
between Christ and the Church. So yes we know why God created us and why
God created marriage. But why did God create sex?
One of God’s purposes for
sex was for reproduction
There is no doubt that one of the reasons for God creating sex was
as a method for procreation. In fact it is one of the first commands God gave
to the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden:
“So God created man in
his own image,
in the image of God
created he him;
male and female created
he them.
And God blessed them,
and God said unto them,
Be fruitful, and
multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it:”
Genesis 1:27-28(KJV)
God commands that
sexual relations between a man and woman are to be only within the institution
of marriage
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed
undefiled:
but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Hebrews 13:4(KJV)
How God could have handled reproduction in human beings
Up to this point, we have seen that one of the purposes for which
God created sex was procreation. We then see that God wanted sex only to occur
within marriage. When you put together what we have so far, you can see that
God only wants children being produced between and a man and a woman within the
confines of marriage.
But God could have
created marriage without sex. He could have made man and woman having the same
relationship as the Bible defines, with man leading, protecting and providing
for his wife as Christ does the Church, without giving him the capability of
having sex. He could have still created woman as the helper to man, with her
symbolizing the role of the Church in submitting to her husband, as the Church
submits to Christ, without designing her to have sex with a man.
All of this could have
been done without needing any sexual contact between a man and a woman. In fact
God could have made humans like fish, where the female lays eggs and the male
comes by and fertilizes the eggs, and they do this with no physical contact.
Even if God wanted us to
have sex just for reproduction, he could have made us like many animals that
just go into heat once or twice a year for a short period. During this limited
period they have sex for reproductive purposes only and then they are done.
How God made our sexuality tells us a lot about his purposes for
sex
In Paul’s letter to the Romans we are told that God reveals his
design and purposes for many things by looking at how he created things:
18 But God shows his anger from heaven against
all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.[a] 19
They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. 20 For
ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through
everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal
power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.
Romans 1:18-20(NLT)
The context of this
passage from Romans chapter 1 is talking about sexual depravity.
That is why God abandoned them to their shameful
desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead
indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual
relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things
with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves
the penalty they deserved.
Romans 1:26-27(NLT)
But even though Romans 1 is
talking about sexual depravity, it also reveals some other truths. We can
see the phrase “the natural use”, referring to human sexuality. The truth we
can see about Romans 1 is, God has revealed his purposes for sex by looking at
human sexuality from a biological perspective.
So what does our biology tell us about our sexuality?
God’s explicit commands
regarding sexuality must be our starting point. But God’s Word does not give us
express commands about every area of our sexuality, he has left some things for
us to discover by us looking at our own biology.
The first thing that is
abundantly clear from the human body is that one the purposes of certain
human body parts are for sexual pleasure. For instance, God could have
gave us the same feeling in our erogenous zones (genitals) as we have in our
fingers. Instead, he gave us thousands more nerve endings in these special
areas that are especially sensitive to touch and can generate great pleasure.
Biologically speaking, if our genitals were created only for relieving
ourselves and procreation there would be no need for these extra nerve endings.
If God only intended sex for procreation, there would be no need for the human
orgasm. Yet he built the human body with all these wonderful
characteristics.
Next we will explore the
distinctive differences in sexuality that God designed in man and woman.
God created men and women with very different sexual natures
Man’s
Sexual Nature
A man is created with a
polygynous capacity for fathering multiple children with multiple women at the
same time. Men are capable of fathering children until the day they die, there
is no expiration period on their reproductive capability. So every time a man
has sex (baring physical abnormalities or surgeries), he has the capacity for
reproduction.
Not only is a man’s body capable of
impregnating multiple women at the same time, but his mind is also polygynous
in nature, where his brain draws him to a variety of women. After the Roman Empire
eliminated polygamy in most of the western world, men had to adjust to
monogamous marriage, even though they still retained a polygynous nature
and polygynous biological capacity. Some men chose not to adjust and kept
mistresses besides their wife(as some men still do today).
Many women reading this, may be shocked at this because of
the modern monogamous marriage culture we have been brought up in. We need to
deal carefully with the subject of polygamy and man’s sexual nature. “How a Christian woman
should handle her man looking at other women” is the need of
the hour to neutralize the nature of men sexuality.
The male sexual nature is primarily visually and physically based on his need to release his semen, and it is only secondarily based in his emotions. The typical male is biologically driven to release his semen at least every 72 hours, for some men it might be less. A man’s sexual chemistry is driven by his testosterone, and the typical male has 10 times more testosterone flowing through his body than the typical woman.
Woman’s Sexual Nature
Just as a woman’s sexual reproductive
system is built for monogamy (for her to have only one husband), so too, her
sexual nature and desire is designed to match her body being monogamous in
nature. A woman’s sexual drive is primarily driven by her emotions, and only
secondarily by her physical need for release.
How God designed our minds and bodies
tells us his intentions for our sexuality
“ For the invisible things of him from the
creation of the world are
clearly seen,
being understood by the things
that are made…” – Romans 1:20a
When we do what God tell us to do in
Romans chapter 1 and look at how God has designed men and women’s minds and
bodies differently we can then see other purposes for which God designed sex.
The
fact that most men and even some women are aroused and receive pleasure in
their brain from seeing the form of the opposite sex tells us that God gave us
sex not only for reproduction, but also for visual pleasure.
“7 “How beautiful are your feet in
sandals,
O prince’s daughter!
The curves of your hips are like jewels,
The work of the hands of an artist.” – Song Of Solomon 7:1 (NASB)
In the Song of Solomon we see how man
sees a woman’s body as a work of art.
In Psalm 45 – a prophetic song about
Jesus Christ we see how he desires the beauty of his Church:
“So shall the king greatly
desire thy beauty:
for he is thy Lord; and worship
thou him.” – Psalm 45:11 (KJV)
Our God truly is marvelous. There is so much symbolism in the way he has designed us. The
fact that men receive pleasure from and desire to see the beauty of women is no
accident. It is by the design of God and is a symbol of God’s desire for
the beauty of his church.
The fact that men and women both have certain zones of their
body that give them great pleasure from touch tells us that God gave us sex not
only for reproduction, but also for physical pleasure.
6 Oh, how beautiful you are!
How pleasing, my love, how full of
delights!
7 You are slender like a palm
tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters of
fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the
palm tree
and take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like grape
clusters,
and the fragrance of your breath like
apples.
Song of Solomon 7:6-8 (NLT)
The human ability to have an orgasm (present in both men and
women) tells us that God gave us sex not only for reproduction, but also as a mental and physical release from the stresses of daily life, and to comfort one another.
“And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent,
and took Rebekah, and she became his wife;
and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted
after his mother’s death.” – Genesis 24:67 (KJV)
A woman’s emotionally connected sexual nature tells us that
God gave us sex not only for reproduction, but also to emotionally draw a couple
closer together.
A man’s sexual nature tells us that God intended sex to occur in marriage with or without emotional connection, as men are fully capable and drawn to sex without the need to first emotionally connect. Many men do not connect emotionally with their wives, until AFTER they have had sex with them.
This last point is one that many in
our modern age would contend with. But the fact is, aside from newlywed
couples, if normal married couples only had sex when they were feeling
emotionally connected, sex would occur far less often. Just like the foundation
of marital love is Agape love (love from duty and commitment, not from
emotion), so too God wanted sex to come first from duty and commitment, and
only secondarily from emotion.
This is not to say that men should not try and connect with their wives on an emotional level, because they certainly ought to. I Peter 3:7 tells men to “dwell with them according to knowledge”. The Greek Word that we translate in English as “dwell” has the idea of a man living with and having sex with a woman (it was used interchangeably with a man living with his wife or his mistress in Biblical times). But when you put it together with the phrase “according to knowledge” it has the idea of getting to know your wife. If you get to know your wife then you would at some points emotionally connect with her.
In fact in the Old Testament often times a word that was used as a euphemism for sex was literally the word “knew”. Like in Genesis 4:1 when God says “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived”. But other times the Bible describes sex as simply “laying” with one’s wife.
The difference between “Making Love” and “having sex”
The Bible never uses the term “making
love”, it is a modern term. But it could describe, as, the times when a man and
a woman are more emotionally connected, and then they are physically connected
in the act of sex. There is no doubt that if we take I Peter 3 where God tells
men they need to know their wives, that God does want us to make love (to be
emotionally and physically connected) as a husband and wife.
However, from the rest of Scripture
we can also see that God does not want the only time we have sex to be when we
are emotionally connected. Sometimes we have to physically connect first, so
that we can emotionally connect at a later point.
God does not place an
“emotional connectedness” prerequisite on sex in marriage.
This is something that a lot of
Christian women struggle with, because of how they have been preconditioned by
our culture, and many Christian marriage books falsely teach this notion of
“emotional connectedness” as a prerequisite for on sex in marriage.
See Paul’s words about not sexually
depriving one another here in I Corinthians:
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and
likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband:
and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for
a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
I Corinthians 7:3-5(KJV)
Sex in marriage calls us out of our comfort zones and calls us to empathize with our spouse
God made men and women with different
strengths and weakness, and this is no different when it comes to our
sexuality. God does not scold a man for his sexual nature, but he also wants a
man to see sex through his wife’s eyes. God does not scold a woman for her
sexual nature, but he also wants a woman to see sex through her husband’s eyes.
What this looks like for a Christian
husband is, he will not always try to “just have sex” with his wife, but will
look for opportunities to emotionally connect with her first, so that they can
truly “make love”.
What this looks like from a Christian
wife’s perspective is, she will not demand that her husband emotionally connect
with her every time before they have sex. She will gladly accept his nature
that sometimes he just needs to have sex, and that God has uniquely equipped
her to have sex whether she is emotionally connected, in the mood or not.
No Christian wife ought to have
prerequisites her husband must do before he can have sex with her, her body
belongs to him, just as his body belongs to her.
Do
not misunderstand what it says. A man may not always be able to get his
wife in the mood emotionally for sex, but he should always prepare his wife
physically for sex through some type of foreplay, in the sense of making sure
she is lubricated(either through natural means or artificial means) enough for
intercourse, otherwise this could be a painful experience for her.
But just as a man is commanded to
“dwell with his wife according to knowledge”, a woman is commanded to be “a
lover of her husband” in Titus 2:
“That they may teach the young women to be
sober,
to love
their husbands, to love their children…”
Titus 2:4(KJV)
The phrase translated in English as
“to love their husbands” is an interesting one. It is the only time in the
entire Bible that a woman is specifically commanded to love her husband. In
most other cases women are commanded to submit to, or obey, or respect their
husbands but this is the only instance of a command to wives to love their
husbands.
The Greek phrase here is “philandros”,
which literally means “a lover of her husband”. This has the idea of an
affectionate, even sexual love of a wife toward her husband. What we also see
from Titus 2:4 is a woman must be “taught” to be a lover of her husband,
something that sadly many Christian’s mothers do not pass down to their
daughters, as they ought to.
In the same way that a Christian wife wants her husband to attempt emotional connectedness in the sexual arena, so too a man wants his wife to attempt to understand the visual and physical side of his sexual nature.
The 7 Reasons God made Sex (in a nutshell)
Based on the Biblical and biological
evidence there are 7 reasons that God made sex.
1.
For Procreation
2.
For Unity (to
bring a couple close together, but this unity may not always come before sex,
but may come later as a result of sex).
3.
For visual
pleasure
4.
For physical
pleasure
5.
For relief of
physical and emotional stress, to comfort one another
6.
Sacrifice &
Submission – husbands are called to sacrifice themselves by giving their bodies
to their wives when they need it, and wives are command to submit their bodies
to their husbands as they need it.
7.
To bring us out
of our comfort zone, to be able to love our spouse not as we would desire to be
loved, but as they would desire to be loved(e.g. sexual preferences).
Conclusion:
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