Why did God Create Sex?
We all have the tendency to shrug off societal shackles. Surprising, sex and the associated pleasure are still considered to be taboo in our society. Journalist Jaye Johnson argues in her 2016 TED Talk that, 'we need to shift the way we think about it'. More so, in theological and biblical aspects, we need to tune into the way our Bible teaches us and communicate it clearly the 'why' aspects and deal with the right lens and landed in the 'when' arena with the designer (Creator) point of view. This is one of the central focus of Christian Ethics, digging out the purpose of God's creation and its ethos is the need of the hour.
There is no single passage of
Scripture where God says “I created sex for these purposes…”. God
created man in his image to show his attributes and display his glory. God
created woman as a helper for man (Genesis 2 & I Corinthians 11). God tells
us why he created marriage in Ephesians 5, as a symbol of the relationship
between Christ and the Church.
So yes we know why God created us and
why God created marriage. But why did God create sex?
One
of God’s purposes for sex was for reproduction
There
is no doubt that one of the reasons for God creating sex was as a method for
procreation. In fact it is one of the first commands God gave to the first man
and woman in the Garden of Eden:
“So God created man in his own
image,
in the image of God created he him;
male and female created he them.
And God blessed them, and God said
unto them,
Be fruitful, and multiply, and
replenish the earth, and subdue it:”
Genesis 1:27-28(KJV)
God
commands that sexual relations between a man and woman are to be only within
the institution of marriage
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the
bed undefiled:
but whoremongers and adulterers God will
judge.”
Hebrews 13:4(KJV)
How God could have handled reproduction in human beings
Up to this point, we have seen that
one of the purposes for which God created sex was procreation. We then see that
God wanted sex only to occur within marriage. When you put together what we
have so far, you can see that God only wants children being produced between
and a man and a woman within the confines of marriage.
But God could have created marriage
without sex. He could have made man and woman having the same relationship as
the Bible defines, with man leading, protecting and providing for his wife as
Christ does the Church, without giving him the capability of having sex. He
could have still created woman as the helper to man, with her symbolizing the
role of the Church in submitting to her husband, as the Church submits to
Christ, without designing her to have sex with a man.
All of this could have been done
without needing any sexual contact between a man and a woman. In fact God could
have made humans like fish, where the female lays eggs and the male comes by
and fertilizes the eggs, and they do this with no physical contact.
Even if God wanted us to have sex
just for reproduction, he could have made us like many animals that just go
into heat once or twice a year for a short period. During this limited period
they have sex for reproductive purposes only and then they are done.
How God made our sexuality tells us a lot about his purposes for
sex
In Paul’s letter to the Romans we are
told that God reveals his design and purposes for many things by looking at how
he created things:
18 But God shows his anger from
heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their
wickedness.[a] 19 They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious
to them. 20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth
and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible
qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not
knowing God.
Romans 1:18-20(NLT)
The context of this passage from
Romans chapter 1 is talking about sexual depravity.
26 That is why God abandoned them to
their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have
sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of
having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men
did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered
within themselves the penalty they deserved.
Romans 1:26-27(NLT)
But even though Romans 1 is talking about sexual depravity, it
also reveals some other truths. We can see the phrase “the natural use”,
referring to human sexuality. The truth we can see about Romans 1 is, God has
revealed his purposes for sex by looking at human sexuality from a biological
perspective.
So what does our biology tell us about our sexuality?
God’s explicit commands regarding
sexuality must be our starting point. But God’s Word does not give us express
commands about every area of our sexuality, he has left some things for us to
discover by us looking at our own biology.
The first thing that is abundantly
clear from the human body is that one the purposes of certain human body
parts are for sexual pleasure. For instance, God could have gave us the
same feeling in our erogenous zones (genitals) as we have in our fingers.
Instead, he gave us thousands more nerve endings in these special areas that
are especially sensitive to touch and can generate great pleasure. Biologically
speaking, if our genitals were created only for relieving ourselves and
procreation there would be no need for these extra nerve endings. If God only
intended sex for procreation, there would be no need for the human
orgasm. Yet he built the human body with all these wonderful
characteristics.
Next we will explore the distinctive
differences in sexuality that God designed in man and woman.
God
created men and women with very different sexual natures
Man’s Sexual Nature
A man is created with a polygynous
capacity for fathering multiple children with multiple women at the same time.
Men are capable of fathering children until the day they die, there is no
expiration period on their reproductive capability. So every time a man has sex
(baring physical abnormalities or surgeries), he has the capacity for
reproduction.
Not only is a man’s body capable of
impregnating multiple women at the same time, but his mind is also polygynous
in nature, where his brain draws him to a variety of women. After the Roman Empire
eliminated polygamy in most of the western world, men had to adjust to
monogamous marriage, even though they still retained a polygynous nature
and polygynous biological capacity. Some men chose not to adjust and kept
mistresses besides their wife(as some men still do today).
Many women reading this, may be shocked at this because of
the modern monogamous marriage culture we have been brought up in. We need to
deal carefully with the subject of polygamy and man’s sexual nature. “How a Christian woman
should handle her man looking at other women” is the need of
the hour to neutralize the nature of men sexuality.
The male sexual nature is primarily
visually and physically based on his need to release his semen, and it is only
secondarily based in his emotions. The typical male is biologically driven to
release his semen at least every 72 hours, for some men it might be less. A
man’s sexual chemistry is driven by his testosterone, and the typical male has
10 times more testosterone flowing through his body than the typical woman.
Woman’s Sexual Nature
A woman can only be impregnated by
one man at a time and she can only carry one man’s child at a time. Unlike a
man, a woman’s ability to bare children comes with an expiration date as she
ages and reaches menopause. God did miraculously allow exceptions to his design
with Sarah and some other women in the Bible, but this is not the norm of his
design.
Just as a woman’s sexual reproductive
system is built for monogamy (for her to have only one husband), so too, her
sexual nature and desire is designed to match her body being monogamous in
nature. A woman’s sexual drive is primarily driven by her emotions, and only
secondarily by her physical need for release.
How God designed our minds and bodies
tells us his intentions for our sexuality
“ For the invisible things of him from the
creation of the world are
clearly seen,
being understood by the things
that are made…” – Romans 1:20a
When we do what God tell us to do in
Romans chapter 1 and look at how God has designed men and women’s minds and
bodies differently we can then see other purposes for which God designed sex.
The
fact that most men and even some women are aroused and receive pleasure in
their brain from seeing the form of the opposite sex tells us that God gave us
sex not only for reproduction, but also for visual pleasure.
“7 “How beautiful are your feet in
sandals,
O prince’s daughter!
The curves of your hips are like jewels,
The work of the hands of an artist.” – Song Of Solomon 7:1 (NASB)
In the Song of Solomon we see how man
sees a woman’s body as a work of art.
In Psalm 45 – a prophetic song about
Jesus Christ we see how he desires the beauty of his Church:
“So shall the king greatly
desire thy beauty:
for he is thy Lord; and worship
thou him.” – Psalm 45:11 (KJV)
Our God truly is a marvelous
God. There is so much symbolism in the way he has designed us. The
fact that men receive pleasure from and desire to see the beauty of women is no
accident. It is by the design of God and is a symbol of God’s desire for
the beauty of his church.
The fact that men and women both have certain zones of their
body that give them great pleasure from touch tells us that God gave us sex not
only for reproduction, but also for physical pleasure.
6 Oh, how beautiful you are!
How pleasing, my love, how full of
delights!
7 You are slender like a palm
tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters of
fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the
palm tree
and take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like grape
clusters,
and the fragrance of your breath like
apples.
Song of Solomon 7:6-8 (NLT)
The human ability to have an orgasm (present in both men and
women) tells us that God gave us sex not only for reproduction, but also as a mental and physical release from the stresses of daily life, and to comfort one another.
“And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent,
and took Rebekah, and she became his wife;
and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted
after his mother’s death.” – Genesis 24:67 (KJV)
A woman’s emotionally connected sexual nature tells us that
God gave us sex not only for reproduction, but also to emotionally draw a couple
closer together.
A man’s sexual nature tells us that God intended sex to occur
in marriage with or without emotional connection, as men are
fully capable and drawn to sex without the need to first emotionally connect.
Many men do not connect emotionally with their wives, until AFTER they have had sex with them.
This last point is one that many in
our modern age would contend with. But the fact is, aside from newlywed
couples, if normal married couples only had sex when they were feeling
emotionally connected, sex would occur far less often. Just like the foundation
of marital love is Agape love (love from duty and commitment, not from
emotion), so too God wanted sex to come first from duty and commitment, and
only secondarily from emotion.
This is not to say that men should
not try and connect with their wives on an emotional level, because they
certainly ought to. I Peter 3:7 tells men to “dwell with them according to
knowledge”. The Greek Word that we translate in English as “dwell” has the idea
of a man living with and having sex with a woman (it was used interchangeably
with a man living with his wife or his mistress in Biblical times). But when
you put it together with the phrase “according to knowledge” it has the idea of
getting to know your wife. If you get to know your wife then you would at
some points emotionally connect with her.
In
fact in the Old Testament often times a word that was used as a euphemism for
sex was literally the word “knew”. Like in Genesis 4:1 when God says “And Adam
knew Eve his wife; and she conceived”. But other times the Bible describes sex
as simply “laying” with one’s wife.
The difference between “Making Love” and
“having sex”
The Bible never uses the term “making
love”, it is a modern term. But it could describe, as, the times when a man and
a woman are more emotionally connected, and then they are physically connected
in the act of sex. There is no doubt that if we take I Peter 3 where God tells
men they need to know their wives, that God does want us to make love (to be
emotionally and physically connected) as a husband and wife.
However, from the rest of Scripture
we can also see that God does not want the only time we have sex to be when we
are emotionally connected. Sometimes we have to physically connect first, so
that we can emotionally connect at a later point.
God does not place an
“emotional connectedness” prerequisite on sex in marriage.
This is something that a lot of
Christian women struggle with, because of how they have been preconditioned by
our culture, and many Christian marriage books falsely teach this notion of
“emotional connectedness” as a prerequisite for on sex in marriage.
See Paul’s words about not sexually
depriving one another here in I Corinthians:
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and
likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband:
and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for
a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
I Corinthians 7:3-5(KJV)
Sex in marriage calls us out of
our comfort zones and calls us to empathize with our spouse
God made men and women with different
strengths and weakness, and this is no different when it comes to our
sexuality. God does not scold a man for his sexual nature, but he also wants a
man to see sex through his wife’s eyes. God does not scold a woman for her
sexual nature, but he also wants a woman to see sex through her husband’s eyes.
What this looks like for a Christian
husband is, he will not always try to “just have sex” with his wife, but will
look for opportunities to emotionally connect with her first, so that they can
truly “make love”.
What this looks like from a Christian
wife’s perspective is, she will not demand that her husband emotionally connect
with her every time before they have sex. She will gladly accept his nature
that sometimes he just needs to have sex, and that God has uniquely equipped
her to have sex whether she is emotionally connected, in the mood or not.
No Christian wife ought to have
prerequisites her husband must do before he can have sex with her, her body
belongs to him, just as his body belongs to her.
Do
not misunderstand what it says. A man may not always be able to get his
wife in the mood emotionally for sex, but he should always prepare his wife
physically for sex through some type of foreplay, in the sense of making sure
she is lubricated(either through natural means or artificial means) enough for
intercourse, otherwise this could be a painful experience for her.
But just as a man is commanded to
“dwell with his wife according to knowledge”, a woman is commanded to be “a
lover of her husband” in Titus 2:
“That they may teach the young women to be
sober,
to love
their husbands, to love their children…”
Titus 2:4(KJV)
The phrase translated in English as
“to love their husbands” is an interesting one. It is the only time in the
entire Bible that a woman is specifically commanded to love her husband. In
most other cases women are commanded to submit to, or obey, or respect their
husbands but this is the only instance of a command to wives to love their
husbands.
The Greek phrase here is “philandros”,
which literally means “a lover of her husband”. This has the idea of an
affectionate, even sexual love of a wife toward her husband. What we also see
from Titus 2:4 is a woman must be “taught” to be a lover of her husband,
something that sadly many Christian’s mothers do not pass down to their
daughters, as they ought to.
In the same way that a Christian wife
wants her husband to attempt emotional connectedness in the sexual arena, so
too a man wants his wife to attempt to understand the visual and physical side
of his sexual nature.
The 7 Reasons God made Sex (in a nutshell)
Based on the Biblical and biological
evidence there are 7 reasons that God made sex.
1.
For Procreation
2.
For Unity (to
bring a couple close together, but this unity may not always come before sex,
but may come later as a result of sex).
3.
For visual
pleasure
4.
For physical
pleasure
5.
For relief of
physical and emotional stress, to comfort one another
6.
Sacrifice &
Submission – husbands are called to sacrifice themselves by giving their bodies
to their wives when they need it, and wives are command to submit their bodies
to their husbands as they need it.
7.
To bring us out
of our comfort zone, to be able to love our spouse not as we would desire to be
loved, but as they would desire to be loved(e.g. sexual preferences).
Conclusion:
Sex Before marriage and Outside Marriage is a great Sin. Having extramarital affairs
outside marriage for pleasure and fun (promiscuous) or any form of immorality is sinful. God's blueprint for sex is for our good not for harm and is
meant to have only in a marriage circle between a husband and a wife. It is to
strengthen the marriage bond and love in the relationship. The God who created
us knows how we function best. He knows the consequences of mishandling His
gift of Sexuality. Our World is reeling from the weight of those
consequences. Millions of Abortions, STDs, divorces and molestations, rapes and
cases of human trafficking would be eliminated if we only upheld God's sexual
ethics in which the Creator has design and created us.
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