ACCEPTING YOURSELF

You won’t be important to other people

all the time, and that’s why you have to be

important to yourself. Learn to enjoy your own

company. Take care of yourself. Encourage

positive self-talk – and become your own

support system. Your needs matter, so start

meeting them yourself. Don’t rely on others.

Someone once posed the question: ‘If I asked you to name all the thing you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?’ This question serves as a reminder that many of us neglect self-love. It’s the result of a common problem within our society: we’re conditioned to care more about what others think of us than what we think of ourselves.

Learning to interact effectively with other people and get them to like you will help you to achieve your goals. But there’s a deeper issue that must be addressed first: Do you like yourself? We learn to care about how others feel about us but avoid focusing on how we feel about ourselves. This creates a society in which people try to impress others in order to be liked, but deep down they remain unsatisfied because they don’t like themselves.

Admittedly, it’s nice when your talents are recognized, when your work is rewarded, your achievements applauded or your looks appreciated. In these moments we justify our existence. We’re flattered. We feel loved. We feel important. Life feels good.

But we continue on a perpetual mission to please others, to prove our worth. We create our own financial pressures by buying things we don’t need, just so we can impress people who care little for our wellbeing. We change ourselves to fit in, rather than changing the world by being ourselves. We alter our natural beauty to adapt to societal expectations. We strive for endless external goals while neglecting our own spiritual growth.

The power of love and kindness is enormous, and sharing it with others can transform the world. But we must also be kind and loving towards ourselves. Instead of trying to change who you are, start giving yourself permission to feel good. Transform your own world and you’ll hone the skills needed to change the world around you.

If, as happens very often, we don’t treat ourselves with the kindness and respect we deserve, we become insecure, and this affects our confidence, attitude and health. This results in a struggle to show love towards others in the way we want to, which, in turn, affects the expressions of love we receive. People tend to enjoy being around, and fall in love with, those who gracefully accept themselves. For this reason, self-love is a vital element in building strong relationships.

Let’s say a young woman called Rose lacks self-love and show signs of insecurity in her relationship with her partner, Jack, because she doesn’t feel she’s as pretty as the other girls Jack knows. This makes her behave in ways that, from Jack’s perspective, display a lack of respect and trust, such as going through his phone and reading his private messages. Regardless of whether they genuinely love each other, their relationship suffers because Rose lacks self-love. Rose’s behaviour begins to affect Jack’s wellbeing. He then starts to believe that her actions indicate that she doesn’t truly love him, and as a result his own self-esteem is damaged. Their relationship enters a downward spiral and eventually comes to an end.

When you accept yourself as you are, you put emphasis on your own wellbeing and joy – and you’ll be content with the idea that not everyone will accept you as you are. You’ll know your worth, so you won’t care if others don’t recognize it. In fact, you’ll come to understand why they don’t recognize it: unfortunately, because most people don’t accept themselves, they search for flaws in others.

We’re back where we started: the importance of loving yourself unconditionally.

The ideas that follow Good vibes in your life enhance your awareness and understanding of exactly why you hold your current beliefs, so you can make meaningful changes to your life. This journey of personal growth will guide you towards self-acceptance and bring joyful experiences into your world.