GUILT AND SHAME

GUILT AND SHAME

Every human being knows what it means to feel guilt and shame because we have all fallen short of some standard, whether deliberately or through force of circumstances. Because we often experience guilt and shame at the same time, these states are sometimes spoken of as if they are the same thing. But they are not.

Guilt has two aspects. The first is the objective state of having disobeyed a law, commandment or accepted code of behaviour. The second is the subjective emotion of disgust at what one has done. Guilt arouses feelings of regret, anxiety and fear of punishment until the offence is dealt with, often by repentance, confession and seeking forgiveness. It is worth noting that moral guilt is not the same as legal guilt. Someone who betrays a friend, for example, is morally guilty but may be legally innocent.

Shame, by contrast, involves an intense sense of personal worthlessness or insufficiency because one has been disgraced or lost one’s reputation, or simply because of the social status (or caste) of one’s family or community. It can be very hard to deal with shame because, unlike guilt, it is seldom associated with one specific wrong act. It is more like a cloud that surrounds one. Shame is also contagious, for its stigma spreads to the shamed individual’s family and community. The self-contempt associated with shame can lead to a loss of identity as well as depression, withdrawal, helplessness and hopelessness. In South Asia, shame is often felt far more intensely than guilt.

Some psychologists regard guilt and shame as purely cultural constructs, but Christians understand them as real moral issues reflecting human experience. In Genesis, Adam and Eve felt guilt and shame only after they ate the forbidden fruit. That was when they realised that they were naked and hid from God (Gen 3:1-10). Since then, all men and women have experienced guilt. All of us have sinned by breaking the divine pattern for human life (Rom 3:23; see also Jas 2:10). Not feeling guilty and ashamed after committing an offence is destructive to oneself, to others and to the environment.

Recognising that we have done wrong is the first step towards repentance and reparation. Forgiveness is available through the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, who took our guilt and shame on himself when he died on the cross (2 Cor 5:21; Heb 12:2).

Sometimes shame is unfairly imposed by others. For example, a woman who is raped may be shamed even though she did nothing wrong. In parts of South Asia, honour killings reflect the belief that an individual should be punished if their actions can in any way be considered to bring shame on the community. This attitude is summed up in the statement that the three fundamentals of some cultures are shame, honour and revenge.

Christians should follow Jesus’ example in not condemning those who have been shamed (John 8:2-11). Instead, such people should be encouraged to recognise their worth in God’s eyes. Christ transformed the cross, a symbol of shame, into a symbol of glory. In the same way, those who endure undeserved shame today should be encouraged to transform their experience by liberating themselves and others from shame. Witnessing for Christ in a group, acknowledging the guilt and shame and how Jesus has transformed them, is one way in which this can be done. Those who do this are following in Christ’s footsteps by not being afraid to challenge harmful social customs (Matt 4:1–11).

The church in South Asia needs to preach that Jesus not only bore our sins; he also bore our shame as he “endured the cross, scorning its shame” (Heb 12:2). Christ was not only “pierced for our transgressions” and “crushed for our iniquities”; he also “took up our pain and bore our suffering” (Isa 53:4-5). We need to demonstrate that the power of the word of God and the cross can erase the shame that penetrates a community and restore its reputation. We should also be involved practically in reaching out to the shamed by offering encouragement, fellowship and counselling.

Asangla Lemtur