What Is Conversational Apologetics?

Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias said it best: “There is just enough of the modern worldview left so that reason still has a point of entry. But we have to use this knowledge wisely. We cannot give an overdose of argumentation.”[1] If for no other reason, this understanding alone should cause us to rethink how we use apologetics today. Perhaps what is needed is an apologetic that is more conversational.

To fully embrace this suggestion, it is helpful to remember two points. First, the coupling of apologetics with evangelism was a normal practice in the New Testament. Christians appealed to evidence, and this was done by both Jesus and His disciples in their witness to others.[2] Second, approaches today that separate the two domains seem to carry with them some kind of limitation. Relying on a mere proclamation of “the facts supporting the gospel” yields a much shorter shelf life in today’s market of effective evangelism.[3] Why? Because so many people in our culture have rejected a knowable reality, a belief in absolute truth, as well as a traditional Judeo- Christian morality. In the minds of many, because there is no overarching truth to embrace, our evangelistic persuasion is prohibited! Therefore, a direct apologetic approach may not always be fruitful in today’s culture. Penetrating this modern barrier may require that our approach be more interactive, and thus more conversational.

Broadening Our Understanding to Widen Our Impact

The traditional apologetic paradigm taught that we merely start with answering the skeptics’ questions if asked (1 Peter 3:15). The problem is that many people today are not even inclined to ask questions with religious implications. In fact, I have discovered that many skeptics and atheists are very comfortable with living their lives in a certain way and have no desire to change. Some, if directly confronted with Christian values, are hostile.

Even having a civil discussion on political topics is highly problematic because that often carries ethical implications! So our thinking needs to be realigned as to what it means, in a practical sense, to do apologetics in today’s world. Doing apologetics must involve more than just being ready to give an answer to those who question what we believe and why. To widen our impact and fully appreciate what is involved in using apologetics in our evangelism, I suggest we use Jesus’s parable of the four soils as a backdrop (Matthew 13:19-23).

Why consider these verses? We must cultivate good soil in the lives of our non-believing friends, because our apologetic responsibilities do not merely rest in just giving an answer (Matthew 13:23). Even if they stop asking us questions, we are still responsible to cultivate good soil in their lives, which involves helping others to see the distortions with their own perspectives.[4] What makes some of today’s evangelistic approaches so ineffective?[5]

Far too often we fail to recognize the need for cultivating good soil in the lives of others. Our attempt to plant the seeds of the gospel before we take the time to cultivate (do apologetics) in the lives of others may be shortsighted and ineffective. Our apologetic goal should be to discover how best to cultivate good soil in the lives of our nonbelieving friends. Only then may we see the maximum impact from our apologetic efforts. Helping others see their distorted perspectives in different areas can play a large part in aiding them to see that the foundation upon which they have built their life is not strong enough to support them. Only then might some be more open to considering a different perspective.

At least three areas of distortions that make our apologetic task more daunting. These include distortions that people have concerning themselves, Jesus Christ, and God the Father. For example, there are some young people today who do not believe in an afterlife and are fully convinced their bodies will merely dissolve into the ground after their life is over. Therefore, they have difficulty seeing the need for a Savior.

If existence ends at the grave, there is no Creator that we are accountable to in this life, much less after death. The task of cultivating good soil may be even more urgent today than many Christians realize. Yes, we need to cultivate good soil to reach the indifferent, skeptical, or hostile with the claims of Christ. However, we may also need to reach those who worship with us on Sunday! No longer can we assume that everyone within a Sunday congregation holds to a Christian worldview similar to that which was more widespread a few decades ago, when secular Western society was still influenced by a Judeo-Christian mindset.[6]

Today, many in our churches have far more trouble believing in a God who expects us to live according to a certain moral standard and to whom we will give an account someday. What is more, they may even have difficulty accepting that some things can only be one way, or exclusive!

A More Indirect Approach

Getting unbelievers to see the problems with their current perspective can be challenging. For example, conversations with unbelieving friends that involve religious or ethical themes may raise red flags in their minds. It is not uncommon for them to become combative in their dialogue. That’s why there is great wisdom in developing approaches that help others to see the truth for themselves rather than trying to tell them directly what is wrong with their beliefs. Jesus and His disciples understood that using reason, evidence, and well-placed questions could be helpful. One good method is to ask thought-provoking questions that allow others to form the right answers in their own minds!

For example, many people today say it does not matter what you believe as long as you are sincere. Now, it is doubtful that they apply this principle consistently to all their beliefs. But rather than argue and tell them they are wrong, it would be more helpful if you help them to surface this truth for themselves. Consider asking a hypothetical question, such as, “What if your best friend told you that his religious commitment to his guru requires him to pour gasoline over his head, light a match, and burn himself to death?”

Then ask, “Do you think it matters what your friend believes?” You can go another step further and ask, “Would you try to rescue your friend if he were on fire, even if he had instructed you not to intervene?” Those who are honest will admit that being a good friend would compel them to try to rescue their friend, even if that friend issued a strong protest.

By using this indirect questioning approach, you can get others to discover the truth for themselves and admit that it does matter what you believe about certain things.[7]

In suggesting a more indirect apologetic approach, it is not a saying that, you should cease the use of other methods. In the New Testament, we see that Jesus and His disciples employed different approaches at different times, with some being direct and others indirect. Though the direct methods can be beneficial at times, in today’s moral climate, a more indirect questioning approach (i.e., using apologetics to cultivate evangelism) may be more fruitful—especially if the individual is open to the Holy Spirit’s work in their life.

To help nonbelievers recognize their distortions and inconsistencies is an important part of our apologetic and evangelistic task. Yet people prefer to live in a persuasion-free environment, and this includes their interactions on social media.[8] In order to be more effective, our apologetic approach needs to be more conversational.

Strengthening the Conversational Approach

If we are going to ask the right kind of question, we need to know more about the beliefs of those we are trying to reach. This entails more apologetic study, especially about other religious beliefs and practices. The more you know, the more effective your approach will be. This knowledge will give you greater insight into what issues you should focus your attention on as you dialogue with others.

An effective conversational apologetic approach implies that we know more than merely which questions to ask. We also need to know how to ask these questions and carefully discern which ones not to ask. It may take some practice to learn how to juggle these concerns and communicate in just the right way.[9]

We should realize that when we ask the right kinds of questions in just the right way, we are essentially holding up a mirror that helps others to see their own worldview in a more accurate light. Jesus and the disciples utilized questions when they conversed with others. 

Questions are beneficial not only because they place the hearer in the role of a teacher and participant, but also because they help the other person to relax enough to discover the truth on their own. Jesus did exactly that when He spoke to the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-22. He asked, “Why do you ask me about what is good?” (verse 17). He wanted this young man to understand the discrepancies in his own beliefs and come to the right conclusion. Specifically, Christ desired the young man to realize that his excessive love for his personal wealth exceeded his love and commitment to the “good” teacher, Jesus. He did not tell this to the rich young ruler directly because He knew human nature and realized there are times when it is important for people to see the truth for themselves. In the end, the young ruler’s sorrow was a result of realizing that his life and words did not line up with each other, thus setting up a confrontation between his priorities and his worldview.

Keeping the Conversation Going

To use apologetics more effectively, we all should consider taking steps toward joining apologetics with evangelism. To accomplish this task, our apologetic may be more productive by using an indirect and conversational approach. Choosing the right kind of questions, asked in just the right way (as well as questions not to ask), will increase the likelihood that others will want to continue the conversation.

May God give all of us wisdom to make our apologetic approach more conversational in the days ahead! In doing this, we will become more like the men of Issachar, who understood the times (1 Chronicles 12:32) in which they lived and knew what they ought to do.

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[1] Ravi Zacharias, “An Ancient Message, Through Modern Means to the Postmodern Mind” in D.A. Carson, ed. Telling the Truth: Evangelizing Postmoderns (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2000), 27.

[2] See Matthew 4:23; John 5:36; 10:37-38; 20:30-31; Acts 2:22; 9:22; 14:1; 17:2-

3; 26:28-29; 28:23. I remember reading through the whole New Testament specifically looking for the connection between apologetics and evangelism. I was surprised at how many passages implied the important link between the two.

[3] In the 1970s and even in the 1980s, it was easy to share a simple gospel message with many different kinds of people in the United States and still see people respond positively to our message.

[4] In Matthew 13:19-23 we have the parable of the four soils. Jesus pointed out some things that keep the seed from getting into the good soil. In verse 19, Jesus pointed out that one of those things is a person’s lack of understanding. Som may not understand because of their own distortions of the truth.

[5] This is especially true of those of us living in the West, and is a growing concern in the East.

[6] See J.P. Moreland’s excellent book Love Your God with All Your Mind (Colorado Springs, CO: Navpress, 1997). He points out that our crisis is a shift from a Judeo-Christian understanding to a post-Christian one.

[7] See the video of how I do this with a college student at www.conversationalevangelism.com.

[8] The sobering truth is that we now live in a world where direct persuasion is frowned upon, and even ranting has becoming the rage.

[9] One way to determine how best to do this is by keeping in mind the three ds of  conversational evangelism approach (doubt, defensiveness, desire). See our book Conversational Evangelism: Connecting with People to Share Jesus (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2014), 42-43, 98-102.