GOING BEYOND THOUGHTS

If you can’t change a situation, change your

perception of it. That’s where your personal

power is. Either be controlled – or be in control.

Growing up, with a racist neighbourhood is totally different. Put it this way: if I wanted to play outside, as kids did back then, I’d spend the first half-hour fighting at least two or three kids. Eventually, I’d be drawn to fight their older brothers, too.

No one should have the right to belittle us because of the colour of our skin or looks. This thought built up so much rage inside us, although we didn’t like fighting, we felt – ironically – that fighting was the only way we could defend our freedom and create peace. Every time someone was racist towards us, my automatic response was violence. Our violence was born from anger, which is a defence against pain. Yet we wasn’t a violent person from innate.

But the notion of violence creating peace is a misconception we commonly observe on the news today. When we won a fight, it only encouraged more people to get involved.

Our brains are clever. They want to make life easy for us and to do as little thinking as possible. (This might sound a little strange, especially if you’re va chronic overthinker.) So the brain is optimized to make subconscious decisions based on previous emotions attached to experiences. This autopilot behaviour created by repetition allows us to move through our day without having to relearn processes, such as driving, and without having to think through all the minutia of daily life.

However, since our subconscious mind has no awareness, it can unwittingly hold us captive to unhealthy behaviour. The fact that I felt bad every time I reacted violently to the abuse I was subjected to made me realize that I wasn’t my reactions; I was conditioned to react like that by my past experiences, and I didn’t question my reaction because I lacked awareness.

You are not your thoughts. You are

the witness of each thought.

By this principle, I never actually thought, ‘I am angry’; I was simply aware of this thought and emotion. By cultivating this awareness, we can learn to make better decisions as to how to act.

How we perceive an event determines how we experience it. Events are neutral, but we give them labels. When a bad event happens, take a pause – and then observe your thoughts. This is making the unconscious mind conscious; replacing thought with awareness. Only once you notice your thoughts can you make a choice as to how you respond. Meditation is a powerful tool for honing this skill.

Look at any disempowering thought as not really you and let it pass by. Or select a more empowering thought. For example, if you’ve just lost your job, you could focus on the thought that says you’re going to be unemployed and broke, which will make you feel hopeless and lower your vibration. Or you could focus on the opportunity to find a new job that pays more. The second thought will make you feel better and raise your vibration.

This is the practice of living consciously: unlearning and reconditioning the mind so you can have more freedom to be who you really are. It’s not a quick process, but with dedication it will allow you to shift from a cycle of negative thinking to a new mode of positive thinking.

In short: rather than trying to control external events, concentrate on controlling how your mind responds to them. This gives you back your personal power and is the key to a happy life.

Your goal isn’t to get rid of negative thoughts;

it’s to change your response to them.