HANDLING NEGATIVE PEOPLE

Not everyone is going to get you, accept

you or even try to understand you.

Some people will just not receive your

energy well. Make peace with that and

keep on moving towards your joy.

Nearly every single person in the world, no matter how kind or amazing they’re perceived to be by the majority, will have at least one person who dislikes them. Only if you stayed alone in your house all day and no one saw you, spoke to you or knew of your existence, would no one would show hatred towards you. You acquire haters by being a somebody.

This is because we’re now in front of a large audience of individuals, each with their own perceptions of what normal is.

Just think about celebrities. They’re only human, but because they reach so many people, they receive tremendous amounts of criticism. We talk about kindness to others but exclude celebrities as if they’re not human. Sadly, everyone has their gospel but fails to practise what they preach. They’re the same people reading and reciting holy words, with unholy behaviours.

They’re the same people who believe they’re on a righteous path, but will judge others for not being on the same path as they are.

Remind yourself that negativity from others is unavoidable. With our constant exposure to the rest of the world, and our interactions with it, we’re bound to face some people who have a low vibration and act unkindly towards us.

Trying to keep your distance from such people can become a huge ask when there’s very little you can do to avoid them.

Here are some important reminders to help you remain peaceful when people speak negatively about you. You’ll begin to realize that the best defence is silence and joy.

‘Nobody can hurt me

without my permission.’

MAHATMA GANDHI

Misery loves company

Unfortunately, people who are vibrating at a low frequency often want to drag others down to their level. Sometimes they’ll try to expose what’s wrong with you, because they can’t handle everything that’s right with you.

They probably won’t like it when others show you love or give you attention, and their resentment will probably build when, despite their efforts to make others hate you, they still love you.

The Internet is full of people who enjoy seeing other people being ridiculed and kicked while they’re down. They’re quick to accept negative assumptions and eager to celebrate failures. People who have made mistakes or fallen on hard times rapidly become trending topics due to a cultural addiction to the downfall of others.

People oppose progress

When you’re making noise, someone will try to turn down your volume.

When you’re shining bright, someone will try to dim your light. It’s simple: if you weren’t standing out from the rest, people would have no reason to hate.

These haters are often individuals who feel threatened, jealous or hurt by our confidence as we strive for greatness. They may feel that our success will limit theirs, or fear losing their place to us. They may dislike the idea that our confidence leads us to be celebrated when they strongly desire their own praise. They may be offended by our unrestricted beliefs if theirs are constrained by a conditioned mind that feels powerless to change anything.

They want to dampen our will and drive so that their ego doesn’t feel overshadowed. By belittling us, they believe they won’t feel so little themselves. These people exist and they’ll show up on our path to a greater life. We mustn’t deny their existence, but we mustn’t react either. A reaction is exactly what they want to make us feel down and protect their ego.

Hurt people hurt other people

The way people act towards the outside world illustrates what’s going on in their inner world. When someone attempts to make you feel inadequate, it’s because they feel inadequate themselves. Understanding this will help you handle related situations more effectively.

For example, sadness makes people act bitterly and without love; pain and internal suffering claw us into a low vibration. It causes a domino effect of hurt, because all too often people aren’t in a good mood because they’ve been hurt by someone else who wasn’t in a good mood. These newly hurt people then hurt other people, and on it goes.

But trying to heal pain by inflicting it on others doesn’t work. The Indian guru and spiritual teacher Osho once likened this to banging on a wall. His view was that attacking others to relive your pain is like someone being angry and then taking it all out on a wall, trying to cause it damage. They don’t define the wall and the wall doesn’t have the problem – they do.

Eventually they’ll end up more hurt, even though the wall has not hurt them itself.

Disliking difference

People tend to feel drawn towards individuals who resemble them in some way. This is demonstrated by a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique called mirroring, which shows that mimicking an individual’s behaviours encourages them to like you.

So, if you’re generally loud, bubbly and full of life, and you come across someone similar, you’d probably think they’re pretty cool. And if their speech patterns, body language and tone are similar to yours, you might think, ‘You know what, there’s something about this person I really like.’

That’s because they’re just like you.

We can also assume the opposite to be true: people tend not to feel an affinity with individuals who are different from them. And someone different from you might think you come across as a bit strange or ‘out there’. Ultimately, they won’t understand you, or want to understand you, because your energy doesn’t match theirs.

What goes around comes around

You’ve probably heard the word ‘karma’. Many people are uncomfortable with this term because it’s a theological concept (found in the Buddhist and Hindu religions, among others) that involves reincarnation. The belief is that your actions will have ramifications on your next life cycle; the more good deeds you do in this life, the better your next life will be.

Whether or not you believe in reincarnation, most of us accept the notion that one reaps what one sows. In science, we might recognize this as ‘cause and effect’, or relate it to Newton’s third law – ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.’ And if you look through the majority of religious texts, you’ll find a reference that relates to the idea that what goes around comes around.

But when people treat us unfairly, we rarely reassure ourselves that karma will catch up with them and just move on with our lives. Instead, we get caught up in our emotions while our rational mind takes a back seat.

For example, if someone is going around saying you’re violent when you’re clearly not, you might feel offended. If they persistently do this, you may feel anger building inside you. One day, you might get sick and tired of the accusations and react violently. Even if the rumour isn’t true, your actions have now made it look as though it is.

Earlier, we learned that actions driven by a low vibrational state, such as anger, will only hurt us further, and that includes the bad karma these actions will create. So don’t allow the cruelty of others to define your future.

The lonely and bored crave attention

When your life isn’t interesting, you tend to focus on other people. You seek excitement and attention from hating others and provoking reactions.

This is why memes are so popular on the Internet. People want others to laugh at their attempts at mocking someone else. They’ll do it for likes, comments and shares – for instant gratification. This will make them feel good for a short time and as if they’re doing something worthwhile. Which leads to my final point…

What people say about you says more about them than about you

When others judge you, they reveal themselves. They show their insecurities, needs, mindset, attitude, history and limitations. And they paint a clear picture of their future: they won’t go very far, or live a joyful life, if they’re wasting their precious time judging others.